A Celebration of Liminality: Spiritual Elderhood

A CELEBRATION OF LIMINALITY: Spiritual Elderhood

When you entered the room where your computer is located, you likely passed through a doorway. Not a very impressive doorway perhaps, at least not so you’d have thought I’d call attention to it. But in fact, it’s very significant, for the doorway expresses a liminality experience.

From the Latin word “limin”, meaning the centre of a doorway, liminality is the “moment of crossing over from one experience to another.” As Robert Fulghum (From Beginning to End) put it – liminality describes the “transitional phase of personal change wherein one is neither in an old state of being nor a new, and not quite aware of the implications.” That’s each person on his/her birthday … at a “transitional phase of personal change … not quite aware of its implications.”

There are rites of passage / special rituals / ceremonies / liturgies in many cultures and religions where children are named … adolescents are welcomed into community as adults … relationships are blessed … the deceased are mourned. But, seldom is there acknowledgment of the rite of passage between middle and old age.

When I read the Simchat Hochman (“Joy of Wisdom”) ceremony created by Savina Teubal, it sparked a thought within me: you know, one of those “Ohmygosh, is it really another decade – where has the time gone” thoughts.

When I think of birthdays, I think of connecting with family and friends and celebrating.  I want to be with those people, but often geography, schedules and space complicates lives.  So I wondered how I could have such a celebration.  As I thought about it, I realized that a cybercelebration could be manageable, innovative, do-able, creative, spiritually-nurturing and fun!  I played with the Simchat Hochman ceremony and came up with the following which I invite you to consider for your own next special birthday when family/friends cannot be with you in person — and if they can, to use it as a unique birthday gift to yourself.

Here’s how I went about it. A week before my birthday, I emailed family and friends and invited them to join me for a cyberbirthday Celebration of Liminality. On “the” day, I followed-up with the following email.

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Dear family and friends,

As I mark the transition from one decade to the next, your cyberpresence brings a special joy – thanks for being here with me as I wear a kittel, light candles, plant a tree and offer a covenantal statement.  Why these things?  Read on. 


The Wearing of the Kittel – In Jewish tradition, a ‘kittel’ (shawl) is the burial garment. This day I acknowledge my mortality and wear a kittel out of respect for the holiness and sanctity of life, praying that I will be granted healthy life for many decades yet to come. I wear this shawl as a sign of the physical changes that come with age and out of respect for the ancient religion of Judaism that grounded my Christian ancestors.  Its purple colour is a mysterious and holy colour, long associated with spirituality, combining and balancing two colours: the vibrant energy of red and the calm grace of blue.  It’s been said that wearing purple helps us to be more aware of our own spirituality and attune to our creative energy. I like that!  Besides, I’ve always loved purple in all of its glorious shades!


Candles – have always had a special meaning for me. They create sacred space within, helping me connect to my deepest level.  So today, I light candles as a gentle reminder of God’s unconditional love.  Watching their flickering flames gently moves me to a place of inner quiet, reflection and peace.


Planting a Tree - To mark this special time in my life, I will plant a tree in the back yard today. When I remember that liminality is the moment of ‘crossing over’, planting a tree is a poignant reminder of my connection with earth (where life is quickened), and heaven (where life in its purest essence will become known). Planting a tree encourages me in the knowledge that after death there is life.  I plant a tree because I love life and am mindful that if I don’t do my part in conserving the environment, life as I now know it, will not be available for future generations. I plant a tree today for those who come after me in the hopes that they will be blessed in its beauty, find comfort under its canopy and be reminded of the holy and sacred gift of all creation.


Covenantal statement – This liminal moment is sacred for me for I acknowledge that life has been given me as gift.  Because I understand ‘covenant’ as a bond between the participant (me), another (you) and God (Holy Other), I choose to be intentional about acknowledging this Gift of Life and covenant to myself, to my family/friends gathered here in my home and connected via cyberspace, to my ancestors, and to God that I will seek to use my life and gifts in loving ways to the best of my ability


These words from the Book of Proverbs (chapter 31 verse 25): “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” can also be interpreted as “She is a woman of strength and dignity; she has no fear of old age” provide a solid foundation for this time of transition in my life.


I am grateful for each of you.  Your cyberpresence on this special day in my life, sharing in this rite of passage has been a deep blessing!  Thank you!

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Elderhood can be a wonderful (wonder-filled!) time in our life.  May we enter it with joy, abandon and open to possibilities that will delight and challenge in ways that we can’t even begin to ask or imagine!